Satisfied
by halbarath
Summary: Ritsuka is now 16 and his relationship with Soubi is as difficult as ever. When he ponders on the merits of sex, Soubi is not as compliant as he would have liked. 3-parts fic. Should be MA but couldn't find it. Some yaoi at the end.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer : I don't own Loveless. It all belongs to Kouga Yun. I don't make money out of this either. Just taking pleasure in borrowing her characters and universe.

A/N : I found this one lying around and forgot I even wrote it. Thought I'd post it, there can never be enough fanfics on Loveless. I hope you'll like it.

 **Part 1**

Yuiko watched Ritsuka. She could tell he was having a bad day. Whenever he sat near the windowsill, absent-mindedly looking outside with his chin resting in his hand, he would spend the day moping around feeling sad and forlorn. She had given up on Ritsuka's love a long time ago but he was still her closest friend and her heart ached for him when he was so down. She sat down next to him and stayed silent as she stared outside with him.

"Hi Yuiko," he greeted with a cheerless smile, turning his undivided attention to her, his dark eyes boring into hers.

"Hi Ritsuka," she answered, used now to his rapidly changing moods. "Want to talk about it?" she offered.

"Not really," he replied casually.

"You fought with Soubi-san again, haven't you?" She knew him well enough to have noticed only his mother and Soubi could educe such behaviour from him. He turned back to the contemplation of the outside and didn't reply. She looked at him. At sixteen, he was far more handsome than he had been as a child. He was tall now, lean and muscular with dark bangs occasionally falling in his eyes since his hair was longer. With his bad boy looks, girls were falling easily for him. But his heart was already taken, to the dismay of many. She had been amongst them once.

"Why don't you tell him it bothers you so much?" she asked, looking at his velvet ears. His tail twitched in displeasure before curling around his ankles. Defeat.

"Don't you think I've tried?" he replied angrily. "It's not like he ever listens to what I say."

"That's not fair and you know it. Soubi-san always puts you before anything and everyone else."

"But he doesn't listen to me!"

"That's a bit childish. You can't expect him to do only as you wish."

"Yes I can," he snarled. "He should do exactly as I wish." He was so vehement her eyebrows shot up in surprise.

"Why? Is he your servant or something?" He seemed to deflate and his anger to abate.

"No. Of course not," he muttered.

"You're just frustrated. Lashing out at Soubi-san won't help matters," she said and the issue was closed until school was over. By that time, they were met by the Sagan brothers.

"Oi Ritsuka!" they called and Yōji hooked his arm around his friend's neck. "How's your day?"

"Peachy," he deadpanned.

"Might be better if you didn't fight so much with Blondie." Ritsuka only glowered at the other Sacrifice. "What about Natsuo and I crash somewhere tonight so you can work it out," he offered. "You know, have some privacy," he added and grinned.

"Privacy?" he repeated calmly.

"Well, yes. Look, I know that you Aoyagis like to keep your ears but you are aware there are other ways, aren't you?"

"What are you talking about?" he all but snarled.

"Please Ritsuka. The man's cranky as hell. There must be something you're willing to do."

Ritsuka stopped in his track, causing the other to stumble slightly. He turned abruptly to face him.

"Are you implying Soubi is sexually frustrated because of _**me**_?" he whispered in a dangerously low tone, a dark look on his face.

"Exactly!" he exclaimed happily, dismissing his friend's anger as inconsequential since Ritsuka was easily angered and more often than not, it was over in no time.

"I need to talk to Soubi," he declared and walked away briskly, not even saying goodbye.

"Are they finally going to have sex?" Yōji asked.

"I don't think so," Yuiko answered. "I'd say you've just made things worse."

"Considering Ritsuka's behaviour, we might have misread the situation slightly," Natsuo concurred. "We'd better not go home right now," he stated and looked at Yuiko expectantly.

"There's no way you're coming to my home. My parents will kill me."


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer : I don't own Loveless. It all belongs to Kouga Yun. I don't make money out of this either. Just taking pleasure in borrowing her characters and universe.

 **Part 2**

Ritsuka was angry. He didn't have to look at him to know he was pissed off. He only had to listen: the way he had opened the door, the way he walked, the way he forcefully put his bag down or the way he leant against the wall with a soft thud, all bespoke of his displeasure. He had no need to turn and see his pinched lips, sour face, knitted eyebrows or darkened pupils to feel the rolling waves of frustration and anger emanating from him. But what he had done to elicit such animosity had yet to be determined. The safest option was to weather the storm because knowing Ritsuka, whatever he chose to say would set off new bouts of resentment.

There certainly was no need to greet each other since they were both acutely aware of the other.

"Could you explain why Zero offered to get lost so we could have sex?"

 _Ah. This again._

"They have recently lost their ears. I think we can safely assume they transferred their own enthusiasm on others." Ritsuka huffed.

"Care to tell me why they seem to believe **_I_ ** am the one who isn't _enthusiastic_?"

"I am not in their head Ritsuka. I can't answer for them."

"Then maybe you can enlighten me as to why they implied you need to get laid?"

"I really don't know Ritsuka."

"You never have an answer, do you?" he accused. "Stop painting and look at me, damn it!" he snarled.

"I do," he replied as he carefully set his paints and brushes aside. "But you usually don't like them very much," he added as he turned to face his Sacrifice.

"You're a liar," he spat incensed. "From the very beginning, you've always lied to me about what is important. Now still you do. You lied to me about my ears. You promised you would take them when I was a kid but never did. Now you say you won't take them. Say you don't want to yet. But you've lied. And I can only assume you've lied about everything else."

"I know you're angry but look—," he tried to placate.

"No. And don't you dare interrupt me. I accepted your reasons for refusing me. Because of my mother. Because I am too young, despite half my classmates being earless. Because of the others' judgement and you cared about how I would feel. Because the first time should be special and not in a rush. Because Kio would die of shock and pester us. Because we have no privacy, to name but a few. But if you lied about what you _**feel**_ ,"he insisted "then surely, you lied about all the rest."

"No. Ritsuka, that's not true."

"Shut up," he ordered. "I don't want to hear you. If you lied about the most important, then I can only assume you refused to have sex with me not out of consideration for me like you pretended, but because you simply don't want to. Because you don't love me enough to tell me the fucking truth."

He saw the hurt on his Fighter's face but refused to acknowledge it. He saw it and was glad that he'd suffer as much as he was. There was no way he'd let the matter drop. To learn the truth from Yōji — it felt like betrayal.

"Since you like orders so much, here are mine. Don't come to my home. Don't meet me on the way to school. Don't go to my school. Don't pick me up after class. Don't phone me. Don't text me. Don't mail me. Don't talk to me. Don't touch me. I don't want to see you— at all," he stated as venomously as he could, drawing strength from the pain hammering in his chest.

He saw his Fighter's face fell. He knew he was unfair and dismissive. He knew he should at least let him try to explain. But he was far too gone to care. He slammed the door and was gone, leaving only silence in his wake.

As Yuiko had predicted, Yōji had only made things worse. Ritsuka had always favoured the silent treatment but it was becoming unreasonable. More than two weeks had gone by and he still refused to even hear about Soubi. They had all tried to talk some sense into him but nothing would deter him. He was as stubborn as a mule, refusing to yield even when he knew to be in the wrong.

"Come on Ritsuka! This is ridiculous! You're just being silly, the both of you. Your quarrel cannot be so serious that it warrants such spite from you."

Ritsuka stopped, turned around and glared daggers at the other boy.

"Fuck off, Yōji ."

"Hey! You don't get to talk to him that way. I get it that you're angry but it doesn't excuse your attitude!" Natsuo bit back, catching his arm to prevent him from leaving.

"If you'd learned to keep your nose where it belongs, it wouldn't have happened. You're unhappy about it? Well, too bad. Next time, keep out of my business."

"Just talk to Soubi! If he's so childish not to contact you, then be a man about it and do it."

"You don't know anything, do you?" he smiled and it wasn't nice. When Natsuo only frowned, he explained. "Did you think he has purposefully avoided me? That's so sweet." His smile faltered, revealing a dark anger and nasty streak. "He's my Fighter after all. Would you stay away from Yōji willingly?" he whispered.

"What have you done?" Yōji asked with a hint of disapproval.

"Orders," he said sweetly. "Isn't it what you all expect from me?" His smile vanished. "Soubi wanted it to be about orders. Well, I've given orders. He's a Fighter. He will obey. End of discussion."

"You can't have seriously ordered him to refrain from contacting you," Natsuo gasped. "You can't do this to your Fighter," he exclaimed. "It's heart-wrenching to be without your Sacrifice!" He gasped then blanched and clasped Yōji's hand tightly in his own, seeking reassurance.

"And how long do you intend to punish him?" Yōji asked all-seriousness. No wonder the other was moping all around his flat. Ritsuka blinked, not the tiniest bit of remorse or sadness showing on his face. Maybe a slight surprise.

"I don't know," he replied blandly.

"But two weeks, Ritsuka! Surely that's punishment enough. I'm sorry we teased you about your ears. I promise it won't happen again. Won't you lift your orders now?"

"I didn't know you to be compassionate Natsuo," he replied unkindly and turned away. Yōji frowned.

"Hey Loveless!" he called back, knowing which buttons to push to irk his friend who turned back and glared at him angrily. "I don't like you much. Do you think Beloved will be proud of you, now that you're following in his steps?" He heard Ritsuka growl slightly. His brother was such a sore spot. "You know what? We don't want to see you either. We only like Ritsuka anyway. At least, he doesn't treat his Fighter appallingly."


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer : I don't own Loveless. It all belongs to Kouga Yun. I don't make money out of this either. Just taking pleasure in borrowing her characters and universe.

 **Part 3**

It took a Battle for them to reconcile. When he felt Soubi's Battle system, he started. Was he fighting alone? What could possess him to go on auto? He grabbed his cloak and fled his house, pausing briefly enough to put on shoes. His mother be damned, he wouldn't let Soubi fight without him. He ran as fast as he could, heart hammering in his chest. He was scared. What if he were too late? He arrived out-of-breath and propelled himself against his Fighter, breaking his concentration and momentarily pausing the Battle as he held him tightly from behind.

"Why are you fighting without me?" he asked, his reproachful voice heavy with concern.

It had been a month and he hadn't fully realized until then how much he had missed him. But Soubi didn't reply and only stood there rigidly. Was he angry still? He had every right to be but his own anger had died down the moment he had touched him. Was it different for his Fighter? He had been mean to him after all. He loosened his embrace and moved around to face him. His stomach clenched when he saw the need on his Fighter's face. He had hurt him deeply and he could only kick himself for it.

"Speak to me, Soubi!"

"You ordered, I obeyed," he replied.

"Forget my orders, we'll talk about it later. For now, we have a battle to win."

* * *

"I've missed you," he stated as he cleaned his Fighter's wounds. The calm and silence of his room felt like a soothing balm after the turmoil of the last hours.

"I've missed you too," he simply answered, not moving from his sitting position on the ground.

"I'm sorry I've hurt you," he apologized, dropping his hands in his lap and not meeting his eyes.

"You're my Sacrifice. If you punish me, then I deserve it. I apologize for disappointing you."

Ritsuka sighed. So many years and they were back to square one.

"No, you're wrong. I was angry and I lashed out at you. I went too far and I hurt you purposefully. You most certainly didn't deserve it. I shouldn't have ordered you so."

"Ritsuka," he called after a few minutes of silence and waited until he was attentive. "I do love you." When no answer came, he insisted. "I'm not lying Ritsuka."

"I know Soubi," he finally offered with a sigh. "And I love you too," he continued. "So why is everything so difficult between us?" he asked, his tone laced with anguish.

"I don't know."

Ritsuka tentatively laid his hands on his bare chest. His skin was so white, so soft, so warm. What a pity his brother had marred it with a knife. He loved this man. He loved him so much it hurt. A month had passed and he still wanted him as much— if not more. He desired him, there was no denying it. The need to touch him, the heat, the tightening in his loins, his gut clenching in anticipation, his straining muscles— he was old enough to recognize the signs for what they were.

"What's your true reason for not taking my ears?"

"Why are you so insistent?"

"Because you don't seem to understand I won't be swayed." He paused and looked at him thoughtfully. "And because I want to understand." He cupped his face and kissed him softly. Someone helped him, this man was intoxicating and he had no will to resist. "Tell me the truth," he ordered.

"I'm your Fighter. You will regret it later on."

"So you delayed, hoping I'd find someone more suitable to lose my ears with," he rephrased and clenched his hands back in his lap.

"Yes," he conceded in a breath.

"How would you have liked that?" He wondered aloud, not really expecting a reply. "And don't you think I should have a say?" he huffed. "Do you believe I've thrown myself at you only because you were available?" He watched him carefully, knowing it was unlikely Soubi answered. There it was, a slight twitch, a subtle stiffening of his shoulders. "How can you think so little of yourself?" he bemoaned.

"You're sixteen. You can't possibly know who you'll meet in the next few months."

"True. But I can assure you it's not someone I will love more than you."

They looked at each other, still not touching but enjoying the other's presence after a month of painful separation. It was ironic how they have managed to hurt each other out of care. Soubi was concerned with a regret he assumed he might, possibly, one day harboured concerning the loss of his ears. He himself didn't want to push him because he was never sure whether Soubi would consider it a duty. He had to make Soubi understand that no matter how things evolved, he could never regret giving his ears to someone he loved so much.

"What are you really worried about Soubi?"

"The day you'll change your mind and won't let me stay at your side, how will I protect you?"

Alright, he had fell in love with him early in his life. True, most relationships from such a tender age didn't last. But they were not most people and they shared a bond. The unique bond of Fighter and Sacrifice. And the bond they had chosen to entertain and maintain, born from hardships, need and trust.

"I can never regret giving my ears to you. Because I do it out of love, not out of curiosity or to do as everyone."

"You never know how love can turn sour."

He watched his Fighter and wondered about his ears. Soubi had never talked about them and he had never asked, sensing it would be painful for him. Soubi tended to only love his masters and they clearly hadn't been kind to him. He could understand his reluctance— to a point. But he wasn't Seimei or Minami-sensei and his love for his Fighter was something the others hadn't been able nor willing to offer him.

"Soubi, do you hate the one to whom you lost your ears?"

The change was subtle, as always with the blond. Trained to remain impassive, Ritsuka had had to learn what signs to look for on his face and posture to get the answers he was unwilling to disclose.

"Is it relevant?"

"I can never hate you, Soubi," he stated. There was no need to push the matter, he already had an answer, albeit given subconsciously. Ritsuka leant forward to drop a soft kiss on his lips, thread his fingers in his hair and let the silky strands fall through, the tender gesture soothing them both.

"You're handsome Soubi," he declared as he slowly traced his features. He kissed him again, lingering there, savouring the feel of his lips on his. His hands dropped to his shoulders and down his arms, coming back up to rest on his chest. "So strong," he commented. "Always there to protect and support me." He looked at him in the eyes, neither shy nor afraid. "I could never hate you," he repeated and let his hands roam free on him, flat and fingers splayed, down his chest to his stomach, hovering there fleetingly before going round his waist and up his back, ghosting over the scars crisscrossing his skin.

A hand buried in his hair, he kissed him again and moaned softly when Soubi allowed him to deepen the kiss and their tongues met. Ritsuka abandoned his swollen lips to drop feather-like kisses down his jaw to the crook of his neck, tentatively biting the soft skin there before nibbling on his ear. The shiver that ran through his lover rewarded him better than any word and encouraged him to pursue his exploration.

"Soubi," he gasped when he felt his hands on his back as he finally returned his embrace. Their warmth seeped through his shirt and spread over him, leaving him feverish. His knees were bruised from kneeling on the ground but he didn't care. He wanted more. He needed more.

"Soubi," he pleaded, unsure how to manage the feelings he evoked in him. He was nervous and impatient. He was giddy and Soubi had barely touched him. There was no way he would willingly stop now.

His Fighter didn't answer but smiled knowingly and kissed him back, petting his cat ears until Ritsuka purred and wriggled in anticipation. He slowly unbuttoned his shirt, one after the other, watching with both amusement and marvel as his Sacrifice's eyes darkened with desire. He trailed a finger on his bare skin, following the open lines of his garment and heard him gasp. Ritsuka had stopped all movements, focused as he was on the contact and light touches, a hand forgotten at his side and the other resting on the older man's shoulder. Soubi's hand glided over his arms to shed off his shirt and his breath hitched as the cool air wafted over his already heated skin, striking contrast that didn't put a damper on his enthusiasm in the least. Eyes half-closed, he enjoyed the feel of Soubi's mouth on his neck and mewled mournfully when he left his skin to chew on his cat ear. His tail waged unceasingly, occasionally curling around him and tickling them both but he paid it no heed as he tried to get even closer to his lover and instinctively grinded his hips and pelvis against him, making Soubi chuckle. He moaned again as the older man held him closer, a hand on his shoulder blades while the other slid down over his backside to hook behind his thighs. Ritsuka put a hand on the wall to steady himself and pulled back suddenly, the loss of contact becoming almost physically painful. He got up shakily and took his Fighter with him, pausing long enough to stare hungrily at him.

"Do you want me, Soubi?" he asked, so very flustered. "Or are you only trying to please me as an obligation?"

"I love you," he simply replied with a slight frown.

"That's not an answer. Do you desire me?" he insisted. Soubi caught his wrist and pulled him roughly to him, kissing him fiercely.

"Of course I do," he rumbled against his lips. "Your mother?" he enquired.

"Unimportant. And my door's locked."

Ritsuka whimpered as Soubi laid him on the bed, still kissing him and rubbed a thumb over his nipple which perked up almost immediately. He let the older man take charge and surrendered himself to his care, wholly trusting him. He felt his need and desire built up as his lover's nimble hands glided gracefully on his skin, carefully avoiding the lower part of his body. His own hands had entered this slow, sensuous dance anew, urging his partner on but as tantalizing as it was, he ached for more. He fumbled with Soubi's belt and growled in frustration.

"Such a rush," he chuckled as he unhurriedly undressed Ritsuka further, drinking in the sight of his naked Sacrifice before kissing him lightly on the lips, feeling the heat radiating from his red cheeks.

"It's not fair," he pouted. "You're still—" he began but paused and arched his back as Soubi sucked on a nipple, a hand sliding down to his inner thigh, lightly brushing over his hard-on, "clothed," he finished in a whisper.

"All is fair in love and war," he answered amused, still caressing the youngster's leg until he panted in need and exasperation.

"Soubi," he pleaded, too embarrassed to ask and feeling too weak to put up a fight.

"Yes Ritsuka," he whispered in his ear, twirling the lobe with his tongue.

"Not enough," he said breathlessly.

"Better?" he asked as he finally took him in his hand, softly stroking him, taking the time to get acquainted to his length and preferences.

Ritsuka only moaned in answer. He felt him quiver when he rubbed his thumb over the tip of his cock and smiled. Pleasuring his Sacrifice was very gratifying. Doing it out of love was purely erotic. He teased him until he writhed under him. He kissed him deeply, their tongues colliding and dancing and closed his hand around him, adjusting his position and pressure to his Sacrifice's whimpers of pleasure before stroking him harder. He accorded his rhythm to that of Ritsuka's hips, moving of their own accord to increase the contact and the intensity. He felt him shiver under his fingers and he arched his back, unused to the height of the sensations. Had he known being pleasured by someone increased them?

"S– Soubi! W— wait!" he suddenly stuttered and struggled to regain control as the other's hands stilled. His breathing evened, his heart race decreased and he could think clearly again. Now that the sensuous daze he had been under was lifted, he could ascertain his wishes again. And Soubi had cheated. "You're still dressed," he stated and the blond lifted an eyebrow at him with a small smile. "I want to touch you too," he declared. "Will you undress?" he requested shyly, a blush blossoming on his cheeks. "Kiss me?" he asked suddenly embarrassed.

Ritsuka's caresses were clumsy at best and he didn't quite get how to give and accept pleasure simultaneously. His hands would either still or grip his partner in a rough embrace when the sensations were too strong to manage but in the end it didn't matter. It was only a matter of experience and both knew there were going to be intimate often enough from then on.

"Ritsuka, tell me what you want," he requested.

"You," he mumbled in the crook of his neck. He felt the rumble of his laugh, felt its vibrations ripple on his skin.

"Yes, I got that. What I meant is how." He waited for an answer and when none came, he stopped all foreplay. "Ritsuka, do you know what to expect?" he worried suddenly.

"Yes," he insisted. "But I don't know what it feels like, do I?" he quipped. Feeling Soubi wouldn't dignify it with an answer he elaborated. "Try both and choose later?" he offered with some hesitance but Soubi's lips only curled in amusement and anticipation. He just waited for his answer, still not touching him to enable a clear and rational thought process. He was far past gone caring or being logical. He settled for the first thing that crossed his mind— anything as long as his caresses resumed. "Show me, so that I'll know what to do next time."

Soubi lifted an eyebrow in surprise but didn't comment.

"You tell me whenever you want to stop," he simply stated as his hands moved down again.

He gasped at the first contact and stiffened. But Soubi was in no hurry and let him get acquainted to the feeling. A second then a third finger joined the first, each accompanied with different and new sensations. Ritsuka's moans, gasps, whimpers and wriggling fuelled his own desire but still he waited until he was sure Ritsuka was relaxed enough. He knew neither of them would last long. Ritsuka was a virgin, he would not know how to control himself. As for him, it had been years since he'd been with someone. And it certainly hadn't been as pleasurable as it was with Ritsuka. To be sheathed inside him was pure bliss and for once he was grateful for the endless training he had endured to achieve perfect control over his body. He gripped Ritsuka's hips to guide him and moderate his movements, careful not to hurt him with too deep thrusts. Feeling Ritsuka tense and climax drove him over the edge and they snuggled together, utterly spent and feeling completely loved. Soubi stroked Ritsuka's hair, already missing his lovely ears.

"Remind me again why you made me wait a whole damn year?" Ritsuka asked falsely exasperated. Soubi chuckled and turned a tender gaze at him.

"Are you satisfied now that they're gone?" he asked, stroking his hair absent-mindedly.

"Satisfied?" he echoed and pondered the question seriously. "I wasn't bothered by their presence. I only cared that they disappeared with **you** ," he said and stressed the pronoun. He saw his Fighter nod his understanding and kissed him softly, feeling his desire stir again. He hummed against his lips and pulled back slightly. "I'm satisfied," he began and smiled playfully. "For now."

 **The end.**


End file.
